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First They Came...

2010-08-15 23:42:12 by Stoicish

They came first for the liberals,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a liberal.

Then they came for the illegal immigrants,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't illegal.

Then they came for the Muslims,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Muslim.

Then they came for Me
and by that time there was no one left to speak up.

Fellow Americans, dangerous of radical and Nationalistic ideology is prevalent in ever society. What happened to the Jews and many others during the tyrannical Nazi reign can happen to any country...even our own. Poisonous thoughts can corrupt the mind if the society is living in hard times and they feel that they need someone to blame.

The Nazi's blamed those who they thought were bringing down the German Culture, Economy and protection.

We, at the moment, blame the liberals for destroying the social culture of this country, the illegal immigrants for destroying the economy in whatever way and we blame the Muslims out of fear for our own safety.

Are we not far off from tyranny ourselves? Is not anyone going to destroy this poison using the foundations on which this country was established on and use logic to destroy these ideas?

Godwin's Law be damned because you never know, with the right circumstances, that this could happen again...

When did...

2010-05-09 04:19:17 by Stoicish

When did Tom Hanks become this anti-American commie bastard?

I hate you Fox News.

I am aware that there is a Heavy Rain topic, but I don't think my review will fall in the line of that discussion.

I hate this game. I hate the idea that anyone liked this game. I hate hate hate HATED this fucking game.

I hate the so called gameplay and it's assumption that moving a stick or just pressing a button at the right time constitutes a game.

I hate the voice actors and their inability to pronounce the word "Origami"

I hate the plot and the massive FUCK plot hole that it leaves wide open that a third grader would be able to spot.

I hate the controls and the idea that moving with R2 was considered to be a good idea.

I hate Heavy Rain.

I banked on the hopes that Heavy Rain would be a good game. Most critics hold Heavy Rain to a high standard with most of the scores being a 8.5 to 9.5. That is good considering most games I play that is scored that high I consider to be good games. They missed the mark on this one in the worst kind of way.

Heavy Rain stars four main characters that you play. Ethan, Madison, Scott and Jayden all of which are stuck together in this plot to find the Origami killer before he lets Ethan's young son Shaun die. Now, let's get this out of the way. The plot is tired, but the way they tell it is pretty good. Up until the point where you actually find out who the Origami killer is in which case the plot doesn't hold itself up anymore and you begin to hate every aspect of it.

Now, let's tackle the gameplay first. This is not a video game. Fuck you, this is not a video game. This is an interactive movie in every way. Here is why it is NOT a video game. Heavy Rain has you move your character around, but that is pretty much all the control you have over their actions. Anything else is you just reacting to something that is happening to your character and the plot develops around that. This would be, I guess, okay if the plot didn't suck. Yet, this still leaves out the fact that this game is very linear and only requires you to react when you want to or if required. In theory you could not touch the controller at all (except when you need to walk) and the game will play out.

That is fucking retarded. This is why it is an interactive movie and not a video game. In which case movies usually cost $25 and I want a $35 refund.

Someone tried to tell me this was an Adventure game, but NO it is not. An adventure game can have the same elements as Heavy Rain, but you are usually more involved. You have an item list or you solve puzzles or both. In Heavy Rain you do no such thing. You only do what the game allows you to do which seriously limits the gameplay elements and my patience.

Also, whoever thought moving around using R2 needs to be shot between the eyes. That is NOT very fun. They could have just replaced all the motions required for action with the left analog stick rather than have me use both. The idea that I need to use to the left one to move my head is just stupid and unnecessary. It requires more work and leaves for clunky gameplay.

To finish with this point; any emotion of excitement I had with this game wasn't a result of actual gameplay, but rather a emotion I was feeling as if I was watching a movie. There is one scene in the game where Scott comes gunning for an old billionaire. You, of course, press the right buttons to trigger your gun, but that wasn't really gameplay. It felt more like I was just interacting with a movie. It was cool, but not a game.

Now, the plot.

It's stupid.


Scott is the Origami killer. The funny thing is that there is not hint that he may be the killer. Instead we are left with a gaping plot hole to explain WHY he is the killer.

First, why would Scott want to investigate himself? He had every reason to cover up his crimes in the end and yet he went through all the trouble to bring someone along with him.

Second, you have control of Scott most of the time when you play him. There is an instance where Scott kills a friend of his to cover his tracks. However, you have complete control of Scott when the murder happens and do not see him do it. However, later on it just decides to let you know that Scott DID kill him.


Lastly, in terms of narrative this really sucks. Because we are all in a first person narrative. We are in the minds of the characters and we know everything they are thinking. Therefore if we know everything Scott is thinking then we should figure out that he is the FUCKING KILLER! In fact you press L2 to go into their mind to figure out what they are thinking. Oh wait a second, where is the thought where he goes, "I'm the killer by the way. You just wasted $60. Go jerk off now and cry bitches cause these French developers are making bank off of your hard earned money."

Also, one of your characters Ethan, has blackouts and it is revealed that he may possibly be the Origami killer. However, they don't bother to explain where he is during those blackouts and the possibility fizzles out for a new one involving Scott. Yet, they still don't bother to explain where Ethan is during the blackouts and why he is holding an Origami figure. This is a major plot element and they essentially throw it away.

Also, who the fuck picked these voice actors? The child actors suck...I mean horribly. It seems like someone told them, "Read this before you can watch TV." The adult actors aren't any better. For example, Jayden, is a British man really trying hard to sound American. So when he talks it sounds distant and almost Bostonian, but not quite American. Also, everyone pronounces Origami as Oryigaymi and I'm pretty sure if this game took place in Boston that everyone would pronounce words weird. This, however, seems to be the only word that people can't seem to pronounce right and it's kind of annoying.

The ending kind of fizzles out and becomes something boring and uneventful. After all that work and going through the 10 hour game you get an ending that isn't even worth your time.

So in the end...I wouldn't waste my time with this game.

I hated this so much that I'm sending it to a friend who lives in New Hampshire and overnight package with the game. Just so he can know how bad this game is.

I also just don't want it in my house anymore. I hate it that much.

Shutter Island

2010-01-30 00:36:05 by Stoicish

Wow, what a book.

You need to read this.

I feel like...

2010-01-25 22:53:34 by Stoicish

I have been acting like I am smarter than everyone else.

When it comes to politics I think I can gauge it on a level that doesn't involve any emotion where everyone else is emotional about anything political. So they can tend to be a about things.

Meh, personal opinion only.

Perfect response

2010-01-04 04:06:02 by Stoicish

I like telling every girl that they, "Need a good dicking"

Most likely because they deserve it.

Something about attention span.

2009-12-26 01:59:46 by Stoicish

Transformers 2 seriously sucked chode.

It took me about a few moths to finally come out and say something about the film and all I can say is that it licked nuts.

I thought about saying something interesting, but right around the time I got to "robotic testicles" I decided that the long winded review just wasn't worth it in the long run. Most of you have probably already have seen reviews on such film and some of which being funnier than anything I can ever come up with given the chance I don't go on a crazed alcoholic bender.

I will say this.

I won't watch that piece of shit again and it pains me to even say that I watched that contrived garbage twice. For some reason I thought it was cool first, but right around the second roll around and actually seeing the film for what it was worth (I had to leave the film before the robotic balls scene) I just went back and looked at it all and decided that this was a big steaming pile of shit explosions in my face.

I would rather watch Pearl Harbor 13 times in a row. I would rather rip my dick off and toss it into a creek than to ever see this horse shit again. I hated this movie. I hated it so much that it pains me to know on dead fact that people ARE going to see the third film and they ARE going to help make Michael Bay millions.

At some level I've had a tolerance for Michael Bay films as I actually enjoyed Bad Boys and Bad Boys II despite the contrived plots and over use of explosions that were ridiculous. However, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen lose all credibility because of goatse wide plot holes and shit acting. This film has made me hate Megan Fox on a level that I never thought possible. Also, I've always thought Shia LeBouf to be annoying on some level, but he was good in Holes. The fact that he's trying to be billed as an action star now kind of make me choke milk even thought I don't drink milk.

Moving this shit fest out of the way...uhhh...why is this film liked?

I get that explosions, sex and action= millions because films like those don't require an audience that needs to pay attention, but at some point you have to say enough is enough.


2009-12-09 17:33:58 by Stoicish

I've decided that I'm going to buy some alcohol and get piss drunk a day before I have to take a final.



Suck on that chode!

Numbers List.

2009-12-08 20:08:21 by Stoicish

I decided to try my hand at writing and detailing everything I like or hate in a numerical list.

It'll be random things so don't read too much into it.

Top 5 things wrong with the film "Fired Up"

Fired Up! Is a horrible comedy that tackles the world of Cheerleaders that Bring it On and its horrible sequels already has.

It details two high school football players who are also playa's (see what I did there). They get poon so much apparently that they can't stand going two weeks without fucking women. So, because the film thinks we are idiots, they decide to stop playing football and go join the cheer squad because they are going to fuck a lot more.

I can't buy that flimsy plot and neither should you.

So I am going to count down the 5 things wrong with this film starting with...

#5 It Can't Decide Who the Target Audience is.

The major problem with this film is that it really can't decide who they are trying to make laugh. It plays itself more as a PG-13 gross out film. See, what's wrong is that almost all movies know exactly who their target audience is. Die Hard target audience is men who like explosions and witty one liners. Superbad is meant for college students who watch movies 14 times and can quote them to death. Twilightis meant for depressed teenage girls with self-esteem issues and the lack of the basic fundamentals of human relationships.

So who was this movie meant for? It's cheerleading so...women? AH, but the leads are two men who scam on a bunch of women so it was meant for men. Wait, they learn love and actually get "Fired Up" about cheerleading so it's meant for women. Wait,

You could say that it tries to bridge the gaps of both sexes, but to be honest it's horribly insulting and both will walk away from this movie wishing they had their time back.

I have a theory that this movie was meant for a different sex.

The asexual kind that enjoys this bullshit.

#4 Enforcing Every Stereotype About Anything=Funny.

Every living breathing microscopic thing in this film is a stereotype. Right down to the atoms who hold everything together. Yeah, don't let me catch you split and be non-conformist.

Anyway, we have the jocks who sleep with a bunch of chicks and think of nothing but that.
We have the love interest who is strong, but a bit of a dumbass at the same time.
We have a coach who curses (I'll get to that later) a lot and is angry.
We have a WAY too gay stereotype.
We also have the douche boyfriend, cheating wife, dumb girl, lesbian girl, idiot jocks, etc.

There is just too much predictability in this film. The boyfriend of the idiot love interest is a typical douche bag. I mean really typical. He fucking sings Chumbawamba's "Tubthumping" in the car and scoffs after every sentence. It's less funny or annoying and more curious as to why they even bother to go all out like this.

Oh and he's cheating or some shit, I dunno.

#3 It Pretends it's "Bring it On".

You know, it may sound a little unfair to compare this film to Bring it On and an insult to my sexuality that I actually like that movie, but I think it's necessary.

For a movie that is about cheerleading "Fired Up!" does little of that, but the times that it does it seems to be a direct rip-off of Bring it On. They even have a televised competition at the end too!

#2 The Coach that Shits too Much

At the very beginning of the film the boys have a coach that ends up saying the word "shit" a lot and has no lead up to let us know that he is about to do so. It is just out there and we are assaulted with a long streaming line of the word "shit".

It's a stupid joke and most of the times he's not even making sense it's like they just want to see how many times they can get him to say shit for this one shitty joke. If you are going to have a shit joke like this one you need to be subtle about where you insert shit and then make that shit joke in the film instead of just going all out shit.

I find shit insulting that they think that his shit can make me shit. If the director wants to shit another shit then he needs to shit another shit to shit a shit. Shit shit shitty shit shit.


#1 The Dues ex Machina sister.

I didn't mention this before, but one of the friends has a sister. The movie never really says exactly who which is bad directing, but nevertheless she seems to be the ultimate solver of every problem. Any time the boys need something she is able to do it without question as to how the fuck she was able to do it.

She is a convenient plot device to transition the film. The movie literally would not be able to go on without her. In a day she manages to teach the boys how to be cheerleaders. When they want new uniforms BAM! they are there no questions asked.

In fact, when the boys wanted candy she managed to give them some without even fucking giving it to them. They just magically appeared in their pockets out of fucking nowhere!

I take that back. If she was the star of the movie I would actually enjoy it more. Sadly, she is underplayed and only in there when the plot needs her.


*floor rumbles*



2009-12-04 19:45:44 by Stoicish

I'm watching Bring It On.

Without pants.